After A Relapse, Hope

My name is Mary and I am an alcoholic. I can't tell you how much gratitude and hope I have when I say that, because I believe it. I have gone to many meetings and announced myself in that manner, but something deep inside me that I now know to be ego always said: "But I'm not powerless, my life is not unmanageable." What I still hadn't realized in four years of going to three meetings a week or more was the paradox of AA. That you must surrender to get the power, that you must give it away to keep it, that you come in a big shot and work your way up to being of service.