August Articles Online
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The Man I Never Met
Same old, same old message gets an infusion
Somebody special came my way a long time ago and I'm now realizing, again, how special he was. I had noticed him several times before,
but on this particular night, at this not-too-particular AA meeting, he appeared different to me and different from others present. An aura of peace seemed to surround
him -- offering up the appearance of a man at one with his God.
I had been attending this meeting most Wednesday nights for over a year, and this was to be the last time. I was relocating out of
state the following Saturday and I had already started making up my mind that when I moved, I would cut back my meetings to one or two a week, maybe just one, instead
of the four or five I had been attending in this, my first year in AA. I had yet to let my sponsor know, if indeed I would. After all, he wasn't moving with me.
When the meeting began, the chairperson let us know that the visiting group that was scheduled to lead the meeting had been unable to keep their commitment
and so it would just be group members sharing that night. Having already heard all of them before -- several times -- I felt I was in for a slow, boring meeting. And
it turned out just as I thought: four speakers, four familiar stories. Same old, same old to me -- and, from my point of view, no longer relevant. I had all this living sober
stuff down pat. I could spout it chapter and verse.
And then, to my surprise, they also called on the fellow I had noticed when I arrived at the meeting. Great, I thought, at last I might hear something new. He
shared what it had been like for him when he was drinking, what happened to make him stop, and then, after a moment or two of pause, he told us what it was like
now. That was the part that saved my life.
He said that he had been attending this meeting once a month for the last twenty-five years. He and his wife came down from another city on the first
Wednesday of the month to spend a day visiting with their son, his "special boy," a patient in the nearby state hospital. They would
always end their day by having dinner and then this meeting. His wife had died a few years ago, so now he came down alone, following
the same routine. He also told us that in all those years this was the first time he had been asked to speak and he was deeply grateful.
It gave him the opportunity to express his gratitude to the group for their having been a big part of his Wednesdays all those years, and
that without them, his visits would have been heartbreaking.
He told us that he had only two prayers these last few years; one, of course, was that God help him stay sober, and the other was that
God let his son die first. He said if he died first, there would be no one left to spend Wednesdays with his son, and that he would be left
alone and more than likely never know why. Then, after another brief pause, looking out to all of us, he said that he had buried his
son, that day, that he hadn't taken a drink ... and that God had answered all of his prayers.
When the meeting ended, I looked for him, but he was gone. I did move the next week, but I did not cut back on my meetings,
wanting -- and still wanting -- what he had shown me on that Wednesday night, so long ago. While I've forgotten his name, I haven't forgotten him or how I
almost walked away from the most important part of my life -- my sobriety and the peace founded thereon.
B.M., Lancaster, Pennsylvania
How has one speaker given you a much-needed message? What has kept you going to meetings?
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